Well, before anybody asks, I don't actually have any pictures of the competion itself. Does anybody else? Send them to me if you have some! What I do have is a number of pictures of the finished products, which is what everyone wants to see anyway. The same rules applied to the competition as in years' past: set time limit, two eggs, no holds barred! Winners were decided democratically by the usual three-vote system.
So, without further ado......the eggs!
EGG ICE FISHING by Robin. Where's the can of beer? But seriously folks, the egg looks happy -and that's what really counts. Must be those earmuffs. ....and headmuff? I didn't have a chance to talk to the artist about his vision on this one, but the consensus is that he was trying to win some sympathy votes.
DEVILED EGG by Connor. Note the more realistic facial expression when compared to the previous egg. The artist described vividly the sufferings of Superman (left) in the hospital. Presumably that's not a doctor attempting to operate on him with a pitchfork... Critics described this composition as raw, intense and ....boiled.
TUMBLED EGGS by Bob (left). These acrobatic eggs tumbled right off the table on a couple of occasions! This precision balancing act was not enough to win the judges hearts, however.
OEUF A LA GUILLOTINE by Chris (right). This revisionist attempt at reassessing the French Revolution was lost upon most of the judges, although the implement itself might soon find itself in kitchens throughout the world.
BIRTHING EGG by Kalum. The artist cunningly turns motherhood on its head with this searing indictment of the laws of nature. Note how the mother egg is no older than its child!. Unfortunately this radical interpretation of the facts of life was lost on the majority of the judges.
NINJA TURTLE EGG by Mike. This daring copyright violation was a transparent attempt at pandering to the younger voters. Despite its scintillating reflection of pop-culture ideals, the judges found this egg lacking in artistic merit.
SPONGE BOB SQUARE-EGG by Colin . Again, a cheap imitation of a popular cartoon character. Only in this case, where's the egg?!?
LEPEROUS EGG SHARK by Colin . Continuing his aquatic theme, the artist switched gears into a more postmodern and deconstructionist style. As the judges watched with horror, this "work of art" literally deteriorated before their eyes. The sprinkles in the water were apparently symbolic of the philistine aspirations of mankind, while the aquarium itself represents the invisible cage that surrounds all of us.
HARE & HOMER by Matt . Colin's friend Matt struck off in a new direction: Eggs were no longer semi-spherical orbs of protein to be decorated, but rather blank canvasses to be drawn upon. The artist's painstakingly accurate rendering of Homer Simpson was appreciated for its technical precision, although the work lacked creativity. Matt's rabbit of course fell victim to the judges' historic bias against "yet another Easter Bunny", although several novel eliments make this by far the artist's best work to date.
PICASSO EGG by Jen (foreground). This pioneering attempt at surrealism in an egg decorating competition was well executed, but the message was lost upon the judges who preferred more "traditional" decorating styles.
GOKU EGG by Mike (background). 3RD PLACE WINNER!. This year's third place went to Mike's "Goku Egg". Apparently it was supposed to be a "Dragon Ball Z" character, but the judges all agreed that they thought it was a sumo wrestler. However, cunning leg engineering and authentic looking garb were enough to secure the artist a place at the awards table.
ALIEN ATTACK EGG by Alex. 2ND PLACE WINNER (TIE)! This hideous space monster was mistaken for Kang from "The Simpsons" but the artist swears he was trying to enunciate his own vision. The space man has actually been painstakingly pierced through his mid-section, as by the alien's zap ray. But it was the raw energy not of the zap gun but of the scene as a whole that captured the judge's hearts.
PUNK ROCK EGG DRUMMER by Ryely. 2ND PLACE WINNER (TIE)! This funkadelic punk rock egg beat out the competition like he beat his snare: fast and furious! Ingenious use of materials and novel ideas secured this egg's place on the podium.
MOTHER DUCK WITH EGG by Jen. 1ST PLACE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!!! The artist's resourcefulness and craftiness shine through in this touching scene. The duck was constructed in less than 20 minutes with only newspaper and masking tape. Apparently the egg is in fact authentically coloured as a duck's egg, although the artist conceded that she wasn't entirely certain how a duck itself ought to look. Nevertheless, the judges felt -in terms of composition, creativity, ingenuity and artistry -that this was the best egg of 2005. Congratulations to all the participants and hope to see your eggs out again next year!