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VANWIJST.COM Besieged
Or, How to Get Out of a Castle Without Being Catapulted
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Besieged Game Plan
Overall Theme

This game was conceived of as a fanciful re-enactment of Medieval reality. What does that mean? The world will be seen through the filter of an almost childlike medieval world-view: thus castle walls aren't straight, characters aren't anatomically accurate (e.g. curved elbows, etc.) and characters are fundamentally unintelligent. The look takes its inspiration from medieval art, but need not be an accurate rendering.


Furthering the theme should be a primitive-minimalist vocabulary, archaic fonts (ideally...), and folky medieval sounding music.

Concept Art Game Summary (by stage)
The King in his throne room laments about being besieged. An advisor offers him a sleeping drug to soothe his nerves, but he casts it aside where it smashes on the floor. A servant (sexy) servant girl is ordered to clean it up. The king raves that he could break the siege if only he could get a message through the enemy lines to his allies. The constable of the castle says it is impossible unless the man can fly. The king takes this literally, saying he will catapult his best man over the enemy lines. His advisors try to convince him that catapulting would mean certain death, but the king's mind is made up. "My best man will fly at dusk!" he proclaims. The advisor turns to the constable suggesting he is the best man for the job. The constable turns to the sergeant, and the sergeant to one of the guards. The guard says something about there always being someone lower in the medieval hierarchy (maybe to the audience, as an aside?) and then he leaves the throne room.
The scene changes to the castle courtyard, where our dung-shovelling hero is shovelling dung. The sexy servant girl appears at an upper window and warns him that the guard is coming down to recruit him to be catapulted to break the siege. The dungshoveller manages to hide (in a haystack? Behind a wall? In the dung pile?) just in time. The guard comes into the scene, looks about, maybe says some boorish words to the sexy servant girl, then leaves. The dung shoveller comes out from hiding and thinks to himself that he must somehow break the siege himself.
SCENE REQUIREMENTS: castle courtyard, dung pile, upper window, stairwell heading up (to throne room and battlements)
The dung shoveller walks into the kitchen. A guard is lazing on a tipped back chair against the wall near the door to the dungeon, blocking access. He is rude and surly, and wants you to get him a drink. There is a table in the room with a white tablecloth, which the dungshoveller takes. There is also a bucket next to the well, which he fills up.
The Dung shoveller sneaks out of the castle to see if he can negotiate with the besiegers. He needs to bring a white flag with him (made from the tablecloth) or he will be killed right away. He learns that they are as dumb as the people inside the castle, but they won't let him through. The enemy also threatens to catapult a rock at the next person they see waving a white flag from the castle.
The Dung shoveller returns to the castle, going up to the throne room. He speaks with the sexy servant girl, who is cleaning up the spilled sleeping draught on the floor. The Dung shoveller says he brought her new water (the bucket) and grabs the slop bucket she is using (with the sleeping drought now in it). He can also chat her up a bit, impressing her that he has a plan to break the siege before he is catapulted. The dung shoveller then returns to the kitchen and makes a drink for the guard, using the sleeping draught slop. The guard drinks it and quickly falls asleep.
The Dung shoveller goes into the dungeon where a grumpy prisoner is kept. The dungeon is also flooded. It turns out he is one of the besieging enemy and is not very nice. The dung shoveller uses his shovel to pry the prisoner free of his chains (through the bars) and then offers him the table cloth to attract the attention of his comrades through the blocked up drain. The prisoner takes up the dungshovellers advice and starts waving the table cloth out of the drain.
The enemy notice the waving flag and shoot a boulder at it with their catapult. The boulder breaches the wall, causing a flood to surge down the hill and sweep the enemy away. A final scene might be the dung shoveller winning the sexy servant girl's favour, or maybe coming close leaving room for a sequal.